The Freedom to Choose

Hmmmm... grace, mercy, humility.

Don't you hate it when you know you possess very little of each of these! What's even worse is when you realise that it's really only your pride that stops you from offering the little you do posses a lot more readily!

I've realised a few things of late...

Firstly, I have a lot of head knowledge but not a great deal of experience. It's one thing to know that you need to follow a biblical principle, it's another thing to actually have followed it!

Secondly, I get the feeling God wants me to live out a bit more of my head knowledge in my everyday life so He's provided an opportunity to walk-the-walk and talk-the-talk.

Thirdly, despite how painful aspects of the situation might be, I still have a choice...

Fourthly, there are promises to cling to when we opt in:

Isaiah 57:15

..."I live in that high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. I refresh the humble and give new courage to those with repentant hearts..."

Isaiah 66:2

..."I will bless those who have humble and contrite hearts, who tremble at my word..."

Joshua 1:5, 9

I will not fail you or abandon you... I command you—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

What have I chosen?... *sigh* ... Yes. Not an easy option for someone who prefers to speak her mind nine times out of ten!! The challenge - despite the obvious one of actually doing it! - is not to let my humour come to the fore! I don't want to act the right response in tough situations and be thinking another (!!), I want to mean it.

You may well ask, have I found my sense of humour again? - yes! It's just had to go on a leash for the time being!

By the way, any one want to read a book (or two!) for me? Just the first 200 pages is all I require - well, that and a brief synopsis! Any takers??... Come on! Be nice! You all know I have at least 10 books on the go at once, that I won't finish most of them and that there are at least another 20 on my bookshelf that I've yet to read! Four books on my out training was just never really going to happen...!

Art, Coffee & FMs

I think it's absolutely appalling when people cannot appreciate art for art's sake and when they even go so far as to feel that they need to add to it almost as if to fix it somehow?? - It's outrageous!! It just breaks my heart... in fact no, to be more precise, Ivanka and Andi...*sigh*... you both just disappoint me - you have left me... speechless - momentarily!

I started out on a hunt for a very cool shot of a latte that I took sometime last year in order to explain a nickname that has grown out of my obsession with both coffee and languages. This photo has nothing to do with that (as I'm sure you can see!) but hey... who cares!

It seems that one cannot have the blood of our warrior ancestors, a love of the romantic languages and a fetish for good coffee and still be considered a true-blue 'bro'... so apparently, I have crossed yet another boundary (been doing that a lot lately!!) - I have moved to the darker side and have been dubbed a Flash Maori!!

I... actually I... I... just feel so... so... moved by the privilege - nay, the honour - to be considered so highly esteemed among my... bros. To quote one of NZ's 'brainiest children' - I just feel completely enamoured!

Ciao tutti! 

The Best Medicine

Where oh where has my sense of humour gone?!!... Siobhan, without you, life would be oh so dull!

I'm currently racking my brain trying to come up with the last time I laughed so hard (other than earlier today!) but... nope! It's just been too long, that's for sure!

A little over six weeks is all the time I have left down here then it's back to the Hutt (yee haa!). There's lots more to see and experience around this territory though so I'm doing my best to fit in as many different things as possible.

There are officers down here that are passionate and fired up which is just awesome - sometimes I think we can 'rain on someone's parade' ten times faster than we can encourage them (purely because we're human!). Me personally? They are the type of people I want to surround myself with particularly at this time in my life!

I want to dream big (both for The Salvation Army - it's never too late! - but most importantly for the Kingdom of God in general!) and I want people around me to do the same! The moment we stop learning, growing and allowing the Holy Spirit to continue to work in our lives we can easily become stagnant and that's a dangerous place to be.

I'm back into the prayer of Jabez with a passion - may God not only increase your territory but may He bless you too!... and may He return my sense of humour to me sometime soon as well - 'tis lonely and a tad boring without one's ability to laugh at one's self!!

Incomparable Love

In case you’re curious, this has absolutely NOTHING to do with Valentine’s Day!!

What this is about is the Street Outreach ministry down here that has thrown me into a bit of a tail spin.

In a nutshell, the ministry includes a drop-in centre for prostitutes 3 nights a week, a caravan that drives the city circuit on another 3 nights of the week (both providing free food and drink), follow-up care and a house that provides a place to stay (both for those who want to come or have come off the street/those wanting to get back on their feet).

Oh me, oh my! – I had no idea I had lived such a sheltered little life up until now! I’m incredibly grateful for my upbringing and that it has not included much of what I have seen over the past few weeks but I’ve just had my world kind of rocked… I want to help and therein lies the challenge. How do you help? When I stood back and gave myself some thinking space, I realised I didn’t have a clue what these men and women needed.

All that knowledge that I thought I had of what to do in this job – gone!
All my thoughts on social injustice – challenged!
All my ideas of what really goes on out there – blown completely out of the water!

…and here’s the really weird thing for me – in The Salvation Army, officers often have to canvas their local pubs on a Friday night. You go in uniform with a little brown box to collect money, hand out The Salvation Army magazine and make conversation/build relationships with people. I find pubs REALLY diffcult. I suppose you could say I struggle to even make conversation (don’t laugh!) but I’ve managed to get through it and I’ve seen God move in some amazing ways - despite my sorry efforts at times! Here’s the weird thing – I find what I’m actually doing with the street ministry incredibly similar to the pubs - you're just there to chat and build relationships, yet I feel completely different. I can’t wait to get there each night I’m on even if it’s just to make sure that the girls are still alive! Another day is another opportunity to let them know that God loves them and that usually comes through what we do not what we say – that in itself challenges me.

Why Incomparable Love? Because that’s what we’re supposed to be all about, right? Jesus loved like no other – He loved unconditionally, He showed love even if people didn’t show love back and most importantly, He loved first. There’s just no other kind of love you can compare that to… and that’s the kind of love I’m challenged to show every time I’m out there on the street.

Is it enough? – I don’t know
Is there more I should be doing? – I’m not sure...that's all part of the tail spin at the moment!
Is it the answer? – I don’t know but it’s definitely a part of it and perhaps what should always come first

And the burning question most of you might have about now - Has anyone ever come off the street? … Yes

Where to from here? - I'm just not sure. All I know for now is that I want to learn all that God has to show me and I don't say that lightly. The past few weeks have involved some pretty tough times where I've had no answers and wanted out more than once...yet I'm still here.

I think my out training is going to be a bit of a wild ride! Part of me wonders what's next and another part of me just doesn't want to know!!... I guess I'm just going to keep going - one day at a time (despite the fact that occasionally I would like to take it 2 or even 3 at a time!).

Snow Angels on Carpet

Ever had one of those moments where you felt the need to do something that you've never done before? Well, I had one tonight.

While talking to Rach on the phone (great time, great company - distracted only for the briefest of moments I assure you!), I had a burning desire to just lie down on the floor in the middle of the lounge and create my own little carpet snow angel!

Where did this burning desire come from? - no idea!
Will it return anytime soon? - no idea!

.... and the most important question of all:

Did I actually do it? - I'll leave you all to surmise and for those with vivid imaginations to create their own mental picture!!

Photo #10

This one is probably the favourite from my holidays.

This is Glenn's niece Megan - latte-making Brandon's little sister! There were a few santa hats lying around on Christmas Day which Megan had been playing with off and on. In between the unwrapping of her presents, she just put this one on and stood still - for all of about 2 seconds!

It's all about timing and that's always a fluke!

And the Road Trip ends!

Stage Three: Picton to Christchurch - without air conditioning!

A little hard to see I know but the blobs on the rocks are seals! Driving the coast was pretty amazing. A little different to what I remember but that was about 5 years ago! The brown countryside along the way (although a little browner than usual apparently) was splotched with random patches of green which was a little weird but the views of the sea were awesome.

We stopped at a cafe in Kekerengu - the only place around for miles, in fact, the only place there at all! - and man, talk about a slice of paradise. The cafe had a wooden floor throughout and great big windows all around. The doors opened out onto a deck and the view was straight out over the ocean... put a few palm trees up and it was like you'd driven onto a tropical island in the middle of the Pacific!

An old flatmate of mine (Sarah) had been on my mind a bit of late - you know, New Year and all, time to catch up with old friends - and who should sit down to share our massive table in the shade during lunch? None other than her parents! Random! We spent some time catching up which was great and then hit the road again - without air conditioning!

The summer sun was definitely up for the trip pretty much until we were just outside of Christchurch. It wasn't too long though and we were checking out my new 'digs'! Four bedrooms, separate lounge, dining and kitchen, two toilets... more than enough room to lose myself in!

And there ended the Road Trip - without air conditioning!

Was there a funny moment you may well ask? ...many mindless laughs, which always make a road trip fun, but it would have to be the first time I have ever actually seen a driver choose to stop at roadworks lights in order to get out and walk around the car (almost 3 times!!) just to cool down because - wait!... you guessed it!... there was no air conditioning!! Ahhhhh....things we do eh?!

And the Road Trip continues...

Stage Two: Wellington to Picton Ferry - with gross amounts of natural air conditioning!

Well, no photos here. Simple reason really. The cameras were in the car... on the fifth deck... which was out of bounds once we'd set sail... and was too far to walk anyway!

Funny moment? - an almost Titanic re-run coming into Picton. No, not the prow of the ship scene!! The screaming to their death sliding down the deck scene! Had anyone on the top deck have let go of the railing, they would have been blown to the back of the deck in a matter of seconds!

Another funny moment? - standing next to someone in exactly the same top and not noticing... for AGES!

And then there was... the Road Trip!

Stage One: Hamilton to Wellington - without air conditioning!

We went the other way round the mountain and I had great fun winding down the windows and just mucking around on the digital camera to try and capture the different view.

If you look really closely, you'll see there's 3 layers - light coloured grass at the bottom, dark trees in the middle and then the snow of the mountain. Kinda cool to be able to get a different view and just as well we did as about 5 or 10 minutes later, cloud settled all around the top of the mountain and you almost couldn't see the snow.

What can I say... it's just another of the favourites really!

Funniest moment? After finally deciding to take strawberries with us to dinner do you think there would be any fruit and vege shops on our side of the road for the last 2hrs of the drive? NO! ...and I mean NO! So we end up at New World spending twice as much as intended but I must report a rather marvelous find. Has anyone seen the magazine called 'KAREN'?! I kid you not! It looked pretty cool at a glance - glossy pages, full of fashion... dead cool if you ask me but hey, maybe I'm a little biased!

 

"Untle Lenn!"

I thought it was about time for at least a photo update. This is Glenn's nephew Brandon who just adores his 'Untle Lenn'...

A regular sight over Christmas was the latte kitchen scene with Brandon sitting on the bench asking as many questions as he could until his chocolate fluffy was ready. He'll be making coffee in no time!